Love You Like I Do
by Sakura Camui
Summary: Sometimes the rain brings us closer together ... and sometimes it pushes us further apart. - Inui x Kaidoh -
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**_This is in progress. Um, I will update when I can. Sorry. ; Enjoy.  
_

Inui listened to the rain splatter against the windowpane as he sat in the locker room. Looking up, he saw that grey clouds were covering the sky, making the room he was in appear darker even though it was the afternoon. The weather report hadn't said anything about rain, but prepared as always, Inui had his umbrella with him. That probably meant Kaidoh had forgotten his. The prospect of sharing an umbrella with his kouhai was an entertaining one.

He adjusted his glasses and went back to staring at the clock. He was about to mumble aloud to himself about Kaidoh's absence when his doubles partner came through the door.

"Sorry for taking so long, senpai."

"It's no problem, Kaidoh." Inui let out a deep breath as he stood up and stretched.

Kaidoh grunted in displeasure. "It's raining."

"I calculated that you might have forgotten your umbrella. You can share mine ... if you wish." Inui said this as he pulled his jacket on. He turned around when there was no response. "Kaidoh?"

"Eh? ... if you're sure." Kaidoh turned away quickly but not before Inui got a good look at his blushing face.

Chuckling to himself, he got his bag and waited a moment for Kaidoh to get his things before opening the umbrella as they went out the door.

The pair walked in silence, Inui stealing glances at Kaidoh whenever he could. Kaidoh didn't notice. He seemed to be off in his own world. Mamushi was watching his feet to make sure they were in time with his senpai's so he didn't walk out from under the umbrella. But clearly, his mind was elsewhere.

Inui wondered what Kaidoh was thinking but even with all his data, he couldn't figure it out. Kaidoh kept himself behind a wall, only speaking if he had something to say. Inui was beginning to realize collecting data wouldn't work in all aspects of his life. The feelings he had towards the younger boy, the way he felt when their eyes met, or how he sometimes felt almost drunk if Kaidoh actually smiled at him ... all these things had no real rationality. It wasn't something he could understand with numbers and graphs. He couldn't even understand himself, or why and when he started developing emotions towards Kaidoh that weren't purely of friendship. He still wasn't even ready to admit to himself what he knew it was.

Kaidoh leaned his head in more towards Inui without thinking, as the rain came down harder. He was still off in space, pondering something.

It was easier to take down data on tennis. Humans were a very different story. Inui ignored the rain that poured over the left side of his body. He couldn't see out of one side of his glasses, but he didn't care. He was making sure Kaidoh wasn't getting wet and that's all he cared about. He may not be sure if he was in love with his kouhai or not, but he knew one thing, regardless of data. He wouldn't let anything hurt Kaidoh ... even if it meant he was hurt in the process. He couldn't let anything hurt Kaidoh. He just ... _couldn't_.


	2. Chapter 2

Inui woke up and immediately sat up in his bed, gasping for air. He supposed he had a nightmare from the way his heart was racing, and the cold sweat on his skin. Oddly enough, he couldn't remember any of it, not even vaguely. He scribbled some notes down in his data book before laying down again. 

And as he slowly drifted back to sleep, one memory came back to him from his nightmare. Kaidoh's cold, dark eyes staring at him.

The next day at practice, Inui was mumbling to himself and writing in his data book yet again. When Kaidoh approached him, he froze for a moment, remembering his dream. Quickly, he reminded himself that it was simply a dream.

"Rikutsu ja nai ..." he said to himself, softly. Looking over the edge of his notebook, he saw that Kaidoh's eyes, of course, held no animosity towards him in them, and he relaxed a bit.

"Would you like to play a set, senpai?"

"Uh ... er ... maybe later, Kaidoh." Inui still felt uneasy, though.

"... Sorry for bothering you." the slightly disappointed look on his kouhai's face hurt Inui, but it was already too late. Kaidoh jogged across the courts until he ran by Momo and their inevitable argument then led to a tennis match.

Inui sighed. '_Why did I say no?'_

Inui continued to wonder that as the day came to a close. He was waiting for Kaidoh in the locker room, as usual. He hoped these nightmares would cease to have an effect on his psyche soon. He didn't want to let down Kaidoh anymore, not even slightly.

"Senpai!" finally Kaidoh's voice broke through his thoughts.

"Ah, Kaidoh. I'm sorry. Were you standing there long?"

"No. What were you distracted by?"

Inui turned away to grab his things. "Oh nothing, nothing. I'm just tired."

"Oh. Okay."

They walked out of the clubhouse in silence, each speculating on what the other's thoughts may be.

That night, Inui woke again in a cold sweat, his eyes adjusting to the dark room and finding himself staring at his ceiling.

_Kaidoh's cold, dark eyes stared through him. He said ... something, but Inui couldn't hear it. Then Kaidoh slowly turned and began to walk off._

Inui wiped his face with the back of his hand and sighed. He usually hadn't let any of his nightmares upset him because he calculated the chances of the event in his dream happening and they usually provided enough results to reassure him that something that ridiculous would not occur soon. But this ... this was different. Because it involved Kaidoh. Everything was always different if it involved Kaidoh. He once again sat up and wrote in his data book before returning to sleep.

When were these nightmares going to end?


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Still a WIP, but I'm finally updating after all this time.  
_

Inui continued to scribble in his data book. He tapped his pen against his lips, thinking hard before writing again. He didn't even notice Kaidoh walk up until it was almost too late. The second his kouhai's shadow fell over him, he snapped the book shut.

"Senpai ..." Kaidoh's voice was a bit gruff.

"Er ... Kaidoh?" Inui looked up at him quizzically.

He hesitated momentarily, playing with his tennis racket. "... try to get more sleep, Inui-senpai. You look tired." Kaidoh seemed uncomfortable saying this, and bowed slightly, taking off the second he was finished.

Inui gripped his book a little tighter. It had been a little over two weeks since the nightmares began, but he hadn't quite realized how much sleep he had been missing. For Kaidoh to even mention it to him ... But what really bothered him with the look in his kouhai's eyes. He re-opened his book to write in more information.

Almost constantly, he was writing. Trying to figure out what it was that made him care for Kaidoh so much, why the pair hardly talked anymore, and beyond that, his nightmares. He knew that the answer had to be right in front of his eyes but he wasn't seeing it.

Human emotions were never a constant, so taking data on them was near impossible. No matter how many graphs and charts he made, there was no way for him to predict, figure out or even begin to understand Kaidoh's feelings ... or even his own.

The nightmares he was having had recently become unchanging. Each night, Kaidoh's dark stare seemed to see right into his soul, and he spoke. His voice never quite did reach Inui's ears. He strained to hear each time, desperate to know what his kouhai was saying. But each time, he heard only the hollow sound of a steady rainfall before awakening.

His personal training sessions, tutoring, and even walks home with Kaidoh had almost ceased due to all this. He was so busy trying to prevent himself from hurting his kouhai that he didn't even realize how much damage he was already doing.

Inui was scrunched up in a corner of one of the tennis courts. He finally noticed almost everyone was gone. Indeed, the sun was beginning to sink lower in the sky. He leaned back against the wire fence and watched his pencil roll away. Sighing softly to himself, he put his head in his hands.

"Face it." he said to no one in particular. "You can't figure this out because ... because it's love."

He dusted himself off, shoving his things into his bag as he stood, glancing off into the east.

"And love is the most inconstant thing of all."

_A/N: Yes I wanted Inui to look to the east, away from the sun. So please dun comment about that._


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**: _I will try to update faster._

Inui was hunched over his desk in an empty classroom, calculating how many hours of sleep he'd lost that week and also factoring how much sleep he had to have to maintain his good grades. He knew his tennis skills and training menus had slid downhill severely in the past month. It was like he spent every day in a sort of fog. He couldn't believe the grip this had on him. It was so out of character. Even Kikumaru had asked him what was wrong. It was unexplainable.

"You think a genius wouldn't have so many problems." he muttered to himself.

"Senpai ... senpai?" Kaidoh almost gingerly touched Inui's shoulder, as if he were afraid.

"K-Kaidoh?" Inui lifted his head, and adjusted his glasses. His eyesight slowly came back into focus. The room was almost completely dark, and his kouhai was looking down at him, his expression unveiled. It was one of concern.

"You missed tennis practice. I was worr-- I mean, I wondered what happened so I came to find you."

"How'd it get so late?" Inui asked to no one in particular, glancing around.

Kaidoh shook his head. It wasn't at all right for Inui-senpai to be acting this way. It was downright abnormal. And that was saying alot, considering Inui wasn't really close to 'normal' in the first place. "Tezuka-buchou wasn't too happy."

He peered over at the data notebook the sleepy Inui had left open. He felt almost guilty for doing so, but he could definitely see his name there and curiosity over-took him a little before his senpai closed the book. Apparently, Inui hadn't even noticed Kaidoh looking at it.

"I'll sort that out with him tomorrow. Thanks for waking me up." Inui stood and paused a moment. "Say, Kaidoh ... oh well. Nevermind."

"Okay, senpai." Kaidoh followed his yawning senpai from the room, Inui's recent odd behavior becoming even more steeped in mystery than before.

Kaidoh frowned to himself, watching Inui trudge slowly off on his way home. He glanced back over his shoulder a few times before finally leaving. That was really the first time they had spoken in awhile. How was he supposed to train with a senpai who was never there? Not to mention on a personal level, Kaidoh was feeling pretty confused. Inui and him had always spent a little time together outside of school and practice. Inui was Kaidoh's only real "best friend." He had to figure out what was going on with Inui-senpai and soon. Although he had a sinking feeling it had something to do with a little green notebook.

He looked at the gathering clouds with disdain. Tomorrow looked rainy.


	5. Chapter 5

Inui bowed to Tezuka for what had to be the millionth time that day. He knew he needed to get it together. Luckily, he had managed to get a full night's sleep. He had no dreams at all. Everything was blank. It must have been because he was so exhausted.

He went out of the room after his long apology, sighing softly to himself. He began to head down to the tennis courts. The sky was overcast, and it didn't really look like they'd get in any practice today, but he still wanted to talk to some of his teammates about their training since he'd been so neglectful recently.

He pulled out a couple pieces of paper from his bag. He scribbled down notes to himself after a class quickly. Inui talked to everyone about their practice and training and tried to assure them that he'd remember to attend the practice sessions from now on. They all only looked mildly relieved when they recalled the strange concoctions he was always making them drink. Curiously though, Kaidoh seemed to be absent from the meeting.

Everyone was retreating home in pairs and there were a few rumbles of thunder in the distance. Inui was outside of the locker room, digging through his schoolbag. A cold breeze from the oncoming storm blew, and he caught a few escaping pieces of paper. He still couldn't find it. Where had -- Inui turned as he saw something out of the corner of his eye. Kaidoh was standing near him, looking down. He closed whatever he was reading and walked up to his senpai, thrusting the book into his hands. Inui let his bag drop as he turned it over and found it to be his own data book that he had just been looking for.

"Kaidoh? Where'd you find this?" he questioned, a lump seeming to form in his throat suddenly. A light drizzle began.

"The floor." His gaze remained focused on the ground. The rain steadily grew harder. Inui flipped through the book quick, almost out of reflex. He jumped when Kaidoh grabbed his hand.

His kouhai looked him in the face now. His eyes were dark, cold ... echoing back into his nightmares. "Senpai ..." A look of disgust washed over Kaidoh's face and he clenched his fist tightly, dropping Inui's wrist. "I'm a person like you. Not an experiment. I'm not just data on a page." He looked away finally. Kaidoh shook his head and left, retreating slowly down the path. He felt he said all he needed to.

It didn't work ... all this and it didn't work. Inui dropped to his knees, feeling too weak to stand any longer, and let his glasses slide off his face. They hit the ground with a dull thud, his vision distorting without them. His data book slid from his grasp. Sheets of data from the notebook fell out and were scattered in the shallow puddles.

The rain continued to pour. He knew it was probably all ruined, but he didn't care. He didn't care anymore. _It didn't work._ He faintly remembered the day Kaidoh had walked home with him. When he vowed to himself to never let anything hurt his kouhai. _But it failed. _Unnoticeable in the rain, Inui let tears fall. And he didn't move.

_In what world would all your efforts ever had succeeded? ... completely illogical, Sadaharu._

And all he wanted in that moment, was for that mocking voice to be silent.

**A/N**:_ A little over-dramatic but bear with me, it's a fanfic! LOL. I honestly am not sure where to take it from here. Feel free to throw ideas at me. :)_


	6. Chapter 6

It was a hard feeling to describe. Unless a person had felt it personally, it was very difficult to put into any sort of words. Inui lie in his bed staring up at the ceiling. He had been living his life for the past few days in a sort of haze. He was doing things without any real thought behind them; almost robotic in his actions. Instead of nightmares, he was getting almost no sleep at all now. Kaidoh avoided him whenever possible; and they never spoke anymore. And it was all his fault. He had promised to be there for his team, and he attempted to focus on that at all the training sessions -- he couldn't keep letting them down.

But it was so hard with Kaidoh there. Even if his kouhai glanced in his general direction, it was like he was unseen, like nothing was there. Like Kaidoh was seeing right through him. His stomach twisted in knots and he felt like it was hard to breathe for a moment. At the same time, Inui felt like he deserved it. It was his fault all this had happened. He had been treating his nightmares -- and Kaidoh -- like objects. Like an experiment in human emotions. He was focusing so hard on his little experiment that he was forgetting to live, and not noticing that everything he had worked so hard to build was slowly crumbling around him. Inui attempted to simply endure the pain, telling himself repeatedly that it was all his fault. And yet, he still hadn't figured out anyway to correct things. He knew he needed to drop the scientific thinking and go down a new path; at least for this.

Before he knew it, the sky outside was shifting to a lighter blue. He could hear soft raindrops splattering against his windows already. His only comfort, he thought as he slid out of bed, was that at least the rain had stopped being a constant heavy downpour.

--

By the afternoon, the courts were dry enough to play on, as the rain had let up early on in the morning. Inui was looking over a few sheets of paper in his hand. He no longer drug his data book around everywhere, keeping notes on everyone and everything; every second of the day. It was in his bag in the locker room. He couldn't stop himself from keeping the tennis data at least; but he had stopped using people as his guinea pigs. He was hazy enough to not notice Kaidoh approaching him until his kouhai coughed loudly.

"Ah -- K.. Kaidoh?" he questioned in response, almost meekly.

"Senpai." Kaidoh paused momentarily, seeming to be looking at the papers Inui was holding, which was actually just a roster list of the players. "Your, uhm, book .. you don't have it?"

Inui looked surprised. "No .. no. It's in the locker room. I write data down on the team after practice."

"_Just_ the team?" Kaidoh mumbled this, his gaze focused on the ground.

"Just the team." Inui responded, pushing his glasses up.

His kouhai nodded understandingly and still with an unreadable look on his face, finally lifted his eyes. "Want to play a set when Echizen and Momoshiro are done, senpai?"

Inui's eyes widened and then his expression softened. "I'd like that very much."

"Okay." There was a twitch of a smile at the corner of Kaidoh's mouth as he trotted off to await his turn to play against his senpai.

Inui wasn't sure Kaidoh had totally forgiven him yet; but he thought perhaps things would start getting somewhat back to normal.

**A/N**: _I don't believe I'm finished with this yet. :3_


	7. Chapter 7

A few weeks had passed and things seemed to be getting back to normal around the club. Inui resumed his normal training menus and workout routines for the members, and even started spending time with Kaidoh outside of school. It was on one of these quiet walks home from school together that Kaidoh finally spoke up about everything that had happened.

"Senpai .." he began, stopping short in his steps.

Shifting his schoolbag to his opposite hand, Inui turned, actually feeling a little nervous. "What is it, Kaidoh?"

His kouhai shuffled his feet a bit, staring down at them before looking up. "What .. what happened to you? I mean, before .."

Inui sighed to himself before taking a seat off to the side of the walkway and motioning for Kaidoh to join. His kouhai sat down near him.

"I don't know if you remember .. it was probably only important to me, I suppose. But do you remember a day, awhile back, where it was raining, and you forgot your umbrella? I shared mine with you, and we went home together."

"Yes, I remember that well, senpai." Kaidoh looked straight ahead of him, his cheeks turning a faint pink color.

"I can't quite explain why it even occurred to me .. but I realized that I wanted to protect you. I wanted to .. prevent anything from hurting you. Even if I was hurt myself." Hanging his head, he paused, unable to go on for the moment.

"Oh." Kaidoh breathed out softly, taking the information in.

Finally Inui turned to look at his kouhai. "I became so overwhelmed with all of my responsibilities and trying to prevent that – that I didn't even notice I was actually causing the very thing I didn't want to happen. I failed you in that aspect, Kaidoh. And I'm sorry."

As usual, it seemed as if a myriad of emotions passed across Kaidoh's face and eyes, but he didn't express them aloud. "That's okay, senpai. I just wanted to know why."

There was short silence between them, the only sounds being the cars passing nearby on the street, some laughter from a distant alley, and the cicadas chirping away. Inui tried not to calculate the percentages what he was about to do in his head. He had resolved not to treat his kouhai as an experiment and he was going to keep it that way. Before his mind could start in on the figures and improbable science of human reaction, he reached out and simply took Kaidoh's hand in his own.

Kaidoh's gaze drifted to their hands clasped together, but he didn't pull his away. Instead, his gaze just drifted up along Inui's arm and then to his senpai's face. There were still no words exchanged. Kaidoh squeezed Inui's hand tightly, as if to confirm his own feelings were the same.

Inui knew there was no chart, no science, no math equation, that could sum up or describe how his heart was fluttering in his chest at that moment. The sun was setting as they sat there, the sky turning everything it touched orange and red as it fell, making way for night to come.

It was a long time before Kaidoh finally stood and helped Inui up. "We better get going, senpai. It's getting late and it might rain tonight."

"That's alright, Kaidoh. I always have my umbrella with me for you to stand under."

Kaidoh shook his head softly but actually smiled back. "Thank you, senpai."

The doubles partners kept their hands together as they disappeared into the dusk, headed towards home.

**The End**

**A/N**: _Sorry if it's a bit cheesy but this fic is almost four years old and I'd like to finish it. Hope you guys liked it. Thanks for reading._


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